Welcome to the show!

Hello there, and welcome to the Carnival of Calamities! Where to begin? Might as well give a little information about some of the main characters in the Carnival. We’ll start with the Ringmaster, Daredevil, and Freak Show.

The Ringmaster (she/her/they/them) was born in November of 1990. They are the third child for their Mama, our Performer in the Carnival, but second for their Dad (biologically), who is our Game Operator. Dad always told the story of learning about Ringmaster’s existence as he called home for the first time since arriving at basic training and Mama told him she had good news and bad news. Dad asked for the bad news first and Mama told him that she had wrecked the car. He got flustered and yelled, “Well, then what’s the good news?!” Mama answered, “I’m pregnant!” Dad would always end the story with, “At least she had gotten the car fixed before I got back home.” That story sounded funny for the longest time, but when the Ringmaster got older, sat down, and really thought about it, they didn’t find it quite so funny anymore. It didn’t help that growing up their nickname was BooBoo, and the reasoning given was that they were a booboo and always covered in booboos so it just fit. They always felt like they were an unhappy and unwanted accident, a mistake, a burden. It didn’t help that their parents raised them to feel guilty for every little thing they did wrong. Mama and Dad did the best they could with what they had and knew, but their best sure left their children with a LOT of psychological and emotional scars from their childhood that their Dad refuses to listen to or acknowledge, and their Mama died in 2011 so she can’t hear a whole lot anymore.

The Ringmaster did pretty well in school, at least academically. They never really had a lot of friends, and struggled understanding the other kids. They tried hanging with the teachers, much to the adults annoyance, but would always be shooed away towards the kids, insisting friends their own age were more appropriate. The other kids didn’t want to talk about the things the Ringmaster had learned about in their encyclopedias, only running and playing. The Ringmaster read those encyclopedias every morning as they ate their breakfast bowl of cereal, and for fun in the afternoons when they would get home from school. They would take those encyclopedias to school in their tattered jean backpack and read them during recess. In kindergarten a girl on the bus chose them and decided their were friends. She had a wicked awesome playset in her backyard, and even a play house! They spent so much time in that play house together, playing pretend and talking about everything. The parents of the Playhouse didn’t seem too sure about Ringmaster, but they thankfully let them keep coming around, and even invited them to their first friend birthday party! There was a bounce house, snacks, goodie bags, the whole nine yards. It was like walking into a movie when Ringmaster came through the door. They were in awe. Playhouse’s mom made sure Ringmaster took a bunch of food and cake and such home with them. The mom was so kind to Ringmaster. There were times they would run down the few blocks to Playhouse’s corner to get on the bus with her, and when Playhouse’s Mom would see their matted hair she would sit them down, gently comb it out as best she could in the time allotted, and even once put it in pig tails because Ringmaster asked to match Playhouse. They stayed friends until around the time Ringmaster moved one town over halfway through 3rd grade. Most friends have come and go over the years for Ringmaster. There aren’t any friends left from their childhood, and only a couple left that knew them during their teen years. They were weird and awkward, Being undiagnosed Autistic added more strain on the ability to keep friends. Ringmaster was known for their meltdowns, strong emotional reactions, inflexibility to change, anger, sharp tongue, slamming doors, screaming. That’s a lot for people to deal with, especially when they don’t understand why they were the way they were.

Ringmaster loved reading, until they had children, but even then they have never lost their love for books. As a teen they could demolish a 700+ page book in a couple hours easily, read 6 books at the same time and keep track of where they were in all of them, and once checked out so many books from the library that they had to make multiple trips back and forth just to get them all home. They would read about the ocean, astronomy, animals, fantasy books, mythology, religion, psychiatry, anatomy, serial killers, different languages and cultures, etc. They have an insatiable curiosity to know, to learn, to absorb knowledge. If there was a human library near by they would never tire of hearing the stories of the many different lives people have lived. Since having children it has become more difficult to concentrate, to get lost in the worlds they read about and watch the movie it created in their mind. That part of themselves is greatly missed, but Ringmaster still reads when they can, but these days its limited to random Wikipedia articles and parenting advice to try and do better for their children than their parents did for them. Ringmaster would like to retire from the Carnival and become a librarian someday. They have dreams of walking among the tall shelves, helping others find the information they need, sorting, organizing, and putting books back where they belong. Someday.

Ringmaster’s older sister, Princess (she/her), was born in January of 1989. She was the Daredevil act in the Carnival of Calamities. Princess was put in beauty contests as a toddler and took to get professional photos done for headshots by Mama. Princess wasn’t biologically Dad’s kid, but he raised her from the time she was a tiny baby and stayed in her life until they had a big fight in August of 2017. But that’s for another story. Dad is and will always be her dad regardless of genetic material. They were close for the longest time, thick as thieves. It’s not right how Dad treated her towards the end. Princess deserved better. Princess started out kind of frumpy in elementary school but blossomed in middle school and really came into her own in high school. She would get all gussied up every chance she got. The Carnival loved seeing all the different hair colors and clothing styles she would choose for herself. Princess carried that passion for fashion into her adult years. She was the Belle of the Ball. Her entrance would light up a room and people couldn’t help but look at her. Princess was charismatic and could make friends anywhere she went. Literally. Ringmaster saw Princess walk up to a random person in a state across the country from their home, ask to buy some weed when it was still highly illegal there, and the dude actually hooked her up! Cant forget about the time she made friends at a campground to stay for fireworks and then had different families practically fighting over taking her home. Princess was a blast and had an incredible imagination. She was very artistic, could sing so well the neighbors would knock on the door to ask who the artist was on the radio. It was Princess singing as she often did with headphones on, cleaning while dancing. She was lively. She could shoot rainbow beams out of her asshole. Princess did a lot for Ringmaster over their life, practically raised them in some parts. Princess always got Ringmaster up for school, granted it was by throwing their big, heavy books at their head, but Princess made sure Ringmaster was out of bed. She helped pick clothes that wouldn’t get Ringmaster teased but were still comfortable, and would do their wild hair because they weren’t quite capable of doing so. She made sure they ate some nights when Mama slept too long, and was the one who washed Ringmaster’s hair for them when they were 11 and buckled the radius in their wrist. Princess used her hands as hand puppets to try and teach Ringmaster her version of Social Stories (“This is what you are doing, and this is what you should be doing”) because they struggled greatly with social cues and human interaction due to their undiagnosed Autism. When Princess worked at BK she would leave unhinged notes for Ringmaster on the wrapper of my whopper when they came through because she knew it would make them laugh. Princess almost always answered the phone when Ringmaster was drunk and needed to babble, and rarely hesitated to share her weed with them on those cold nights on the front porch when they lived in the foothills. She was the Maid of Honor at Ringmaster’s first wedding, did their hair and makeup to help them look “decent” for the inevitable photos. It was a sensory ick, but Princess was right. The ex looked frumpy but Princess made sure Ringmaster looked good. Princess knew the marriage was doomed from the start and didn’t like the person Ringmaster was marrying, but she showed up and participated anyway. She is brutally honest to a fault, but with the biggest heart ever seen in a person. Princess fell on really hard times after Mama died, and hasn’t been the same since. She is greatly missed, and the Carnival has not been the same without her.

Ringmaster’s older brother, Rat Tail (he/him) was born in March of 1986. He belongs to the Freak Show of the Carnival. Rat Tail is Ringmaster’s full brother, same parents. Rat Tail was a bit different from the start. Mama would tell stories of him as a baby wanting a new bottle and if she didn’t get up fast enough Rat Tail would grab the nipple, swirl the bottle around, and hit Mama with it in the face. She said one time he gave her a black eye doing that. Ringmaster doesn’t know a whole lot about Rat Tail’s early years, but they know they weren’t a very good time. By time Ringmaster started forming memories of their brother he had short hair but with a rat tail at the back that Mama was growing out, and would use to get ahold of him when he’d bolt. Ringmaster has memories being jealous of Rat Tail going to school and trying to climb onto the bus to go with him. One time they played house and Ringmaster ate a whole bunch of Country Crock margarine pretending it was ice cream and ended up very sick. Ringmaster remembers times where Rat Tail was gone, and he had to be visited at the hospital. They are unsure of why he was in the hospital, but they can only assume it had something to do with his Anger Monkey, that we all carry, getting out of control. Ringmaster remembers seeing Rat Tail fighting with police officers and pulling a knife on one from behind the couch. Rat Tail must have only been about 8 or 9 years old. Rat Tail struggled in school. He’s so smart, but the traditional school system was unable to teach him the way he needed to learn. He was frequently in trouble for fighting and getting suspended from school. He was a stubborn kid. Still is now at 37 years old. He was so determined to learn to roller blade as a tween that he would roller blade down this hill near the house we grew up in but he would always crash into the people’s yard at the bottom. He crashed over and over and over again. Sometimes people would end up sitting out there and watching him keep trying. Rat Tail has great determination and doesn’t give up easily. He ended up quitting school in 10th grade and has struggled through most of his life since. There were times he would get on his feet and things would be good for a bit, but old habits die hard. He was driving heavy machinery by 12 years old and skilled in construction. He is good with people to a point, personable, kind, caring, thoughtful. But just like everyone he has his limits. We have never really been close, or really seen eye to eye, but Ringmaster has always hoped for the best for Rat Tail, and tried to help where they could. They have tried over the years to be on good terms, but Ringmaster always end up saying the wrong thing and Rat Tail justifiably moves on. Rat Tail is currently homeless, doing his own thing, battling addictions, but still surviving. Prayers are said every day for him. It’s not right how this world failed him.