TRIGGER WARNING!!!!

CONTAINS GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF CHILD SEXUAL ASSAULT

 

This is the first time this full story has ever been told……

 

About a month after the incident with Klarholz’s boss, Ringmaster and Princess went for a weekend visit with Klarholz. Ringmaster was playing video games with the other kids when Papão came into the room and sat down to play with us. The other kids ran outside to play but Ringmaster stayed inside. At first the conversation between them was innocent, about the game, dinner that night, but it slowly turned more personal. Papão started asking Ringmaster questions about how they felt about boys, if they had any crushes, and then he asked them for details on what had happened with Kenny Bill. Ringmaster had wrongly assumed that he was just trying to be a helpful safe person to talk to about the experience but little did they know that Papão was using this information for his own sick pleasures.

 

When Princess and Ringmaster visited at Klarholz’s they would sleep wherever there was a free spot. Princess often bunked with Hegység in the back bedroom and Ringmaster was left to sleep on the dogs’ couch out in the den. Ringmaster was a night owl and would often stay up late watching movies long after most of the rest of the house had gone to sleep. Papão would sometimes watch movies with them in the den, leaning over during the funny parts to tickle Ringmaster. Most of the time these tickle fits would end with the movie and then he would go to his room for the night.

 

One time the tickle fit didn’t end with the movie though. Papão had Ringmaster giggling pretty good and the movie was long over. He told them to follow him to his room so their laughter wouldn’t disturb those who were sleeping. They got up and followed him, unsure of what would happen next.

 

Papão told Ringmaster to sit on the bed, turned off the regular lights and turned on the black lights that they hadn’t even noticed were there. The black lights lit up the painted designs on the walls and gave the room a purple glow. Papão climbed onto the bed, laid down and patted the area next to him, indicating to Ringmaster that that was where he wanted her to sit. They followed the instruction but could feel in their gut that something was not right.

 

Ringmaster laid a little ways away at first, unsure of why they were being asked to do this. Then he pulled them a closer and kissed them. Papão was 17, and Ringmaster was only 9. Overwhelming feelings rushed over them and Ringmaster started to feel themselves drift, a disconnect growing between their mind and body. He started moving his hands over their body, touching and groping and he moved his hands downward. They froze. Panic started to set in but it showed up as chattering teeth and shivering which Papão thought meant they were cold so he instructed them to get under the covers with them. Ringmaster wasn’t sure what to do so they did as they were told.

 

Papão snuggled close to Ringmaster and began kissing them once again, his hands roaming over their body as they laid limp unsure of what was happening or what they were supposed to do. Papão slid his hand under the waistband of Ringmaster’s pants, running his fingers over their mons and then putting pressure between their labia. This created complicated feelings for them. They felt in their brain that what was happening was wrong, but he was creating sensations they had never experienced before and it felt good to their body. The disconnect between their brain and body became greater.

 

Ringmaster felt like they were floating above their body, watching everything that was happening like it was a movie and feeling powerless to do anything. Papão continued to kiss and fondle Ringmaster, and it wasn’t long before just staying above the cloth wasn’t good enough for him. He lifted the waistband of their panties and slid his fingers back to where they were before but now with less material between. The feelings were overwhelming for them.

 

Next thing they knew the suns rays were just creeping above the horizon and Papão told Ringmaster to go back to the couch. They numbly climbed off the bed and went through the utility room back to the den. They drifted off to sleep so confused about what had happened, and why. Did they do something to ask for this? Did they send the wrong message some how? Did Papão actually find them attractive and worthy of attention? The answer to all is no, but Ringmaster wasn’t mature enough at the time to understand.

 

Papão would repeat this pattern with Ringmaster often, the staying up late, tickling, then going back to his room. Over time the feelings of wrongness went away and feelings of infatuation began to take their place. Ringmaster started to enjoy the attention, thinking that there was something special about them that made him take notice. They didn’t know that he was a sick, demented man who was sexually attracted to children, and that they weren’t his only victim either.

 

Papão would send e-mails to Ringmaster, asking them questions and talking about things, telling them what he hoped to do to them next. Ringmaster knew the messages weren’t supposed to be read by others but they felt it was because they would get in trouble instead of him. They tried hard to keep the e-mails a secret but there were times when they were more careless than they should have been. The few people in the household that had suspicions made Ringmaster feel like they were disgusting, shameful, but yet did nothing to stop the abuse.

 

For several years Papão never went past molestation and fondling, always toeing the line and refraining from actual penetration. It wasn’t until Ringmaster came back from running away and had lost their virginity to another man at 14 years old that he felt emboldened enough to go further. There was a night when Ringmaster was sleeping over next door and they got an e-mail from Papão telling them to sneak out when the household was asleep, crawl into the back seat of his car, and wait for him. They obliged and within ten minutes he got into the driver’s seat and began driving away. When Ringmaster tried to sit up he immediately pushed her back down, telling her to wait until they got further away from the neighborhood.

 

It felt like they had laid there forever when they heard the brakes squeaking as the car slowed down and came to a stop. Papão helped pull them into the front seat and then started kissing them. As they were kissing he pulled his pants down, pulled out his penis, and started stroking it. He told them, “Come here,” and they responded, “I don’t give bjs.” He chuckled a little and said, “No, I want you to take off your pants and climb on top of me.” They were confused but they clumsily followed his instructions, removing their jammie bottoms and underwear. They climbed on top and felt his penis poke their thigh. His breath smelled like beer, cigarettes, and weed. It was off putting to them and made their stomach turn a little. They tried to readjust but Papão gripped their upper back tight while spitting on his hand, rubbing it on the head of his penis, and then trying to insert it into Ringmaster’s vagina. There was pain and discomfort, but they didn’t say anything for fear of disappointing him. He continued to push his penis in further causing them to wince. He pulled out a little more and they thought that meant they were done but they were wrong.

 

Papão thrusted in and out of Ringmaster’s vagina over and over again, telling them to just hover and he would do the work. They did as they were told but it was done robotically, their mind and body becoming more and more disconnected as each moment passed. Papão continued to have sex with Ringmaster for several minutes before eventually reaching orgasm. Ringmaster pretended they had climaxed as well, acting as they did in porns they had seen in the hopes that he wouldn’t be disappointed. He then readjusted his pants to where they were supposed to be, told Ringmaster to get their pants back on and go lay back down in the back seat. They did as they were told. Ringmaster felt so confused, ashamed, excited, scared, anxious, panicked, and much more while laying in the back seat. Papão fiddled with the radio and didn’t say anything to them, seemingly pretending that they weren’t there.

 

When Papão pulled back into the driveway he told Ringmaster to stay in the backseat for a few minutes and then sneak back next door so no one would be suspicious. He got out of the car and went into the house. Ringmaster waited and waited. When they felt that it had been long enough they slowly opened the car door, lightly shut it, and creeped back into the neighbor’s house. They laid down on the couch and tried hard to go to sleep but so many emotions were swirling in their heads that it wasn’t long before dawn came and the house started waking up. They didn’t get much sleep and definitely showed it with their attitude that day.

 

Just like before, Papão continued the pattern of emailing Ringmaster, making them feel wanted and noticed. He would send her instructions on what to do so that they could have sex in secret. By this time he was 21 and Ringmaster was 14. They would always meet after everyone was asleep and in hidden places. Once, he had them meet in the utility room after the house was quiet. He began kissing, fondling, and groping them, and Ringmaster could tell by his touches that he was going to pull their pants down soon. Their mind and body started to drift apart, their vision getting fuzzy around the edges and shifting between first person and above points of view. He pulled down their pants and lifted them up a little, the height difference more pronounced in this situation. He inserted his penis into their vagina and thrusted in and out for several minutes before climaxing, pulling out, and telling Ringmaster to go back to the couch quietly so no one gets suspicious. Ringmaster pulled up their pants and numbly walked back out to the den. They laid down on the couch and quickly drifted off to sleep.

 

When Ringmaster awoke that morning they felt off, numb, disconnected but had no words to explain their feelings. As time went on, that disconnect continued and their life began to deteriorate in all aspects. They struggled to learn and maintain grades in school and frequently lashed out at loved ones and friends, driving wedges in much needed relationships. They suffered in silence for years, scared to tell any other adult, but freely telling their friends wrongly thinking that the experience made them cool.

 

It wasn’t until the summer of 2006 that they finally broke down and told the truth about everything. They unloaded on their Màiri, telling all their secrets, sobbing as they slid down the wall in the hallway and sat on the floor. Màiri became enraged and immediately called the police. The more Ringmaster cried the more the connection between their brain and body drifted, eventually causing them to disassociate from the process of telling their story again to the cops, and then again to the detectives, and then again to have it recorded.

 

Next thing Ringmaster remembers they are being visited at school by two police officers to be given the news that Papão had been offered a plea deal in exchange for providing the names of all of his victims. They read off some names and asked them if they could help the detectives identify who they were. It was a huge shock for them to hear that some of the names of the victims he listed were several of his relatives, some of which were very young, and Princess. Ringmaster never imagined Princess had been being touched in the same ways and instantly filled with rage. They asked the officers how they could allow such a monster to hurt so many people and yet barely get in trouble for it and they were told that that is just how the law works. Ringmaster was horrified, angry, incensed. They were thanked for their cooperation and then sent back to class.

 

Papão was sentenced to less than 2 years for Rape of a Child in the 3rd degree, of which he served less than half, if that. Once he was released he hung around for a bit but then disappeared for a few years. He attempted to contact Ringmaster a few times, e-mailing them and even going so far as to text them. He told them that he had been hiding out in Montana, and had recently had fun at the Evel Knievel Days festival. Ringmaster forwarded this information to the local police but they weren’t too worried but someone that had failed to register as a sex offender.

 

He resurfaced again in 2016. This time he managed to make the newspaper. The local police were notified by the FBI, who had in turn been notified by Google concerning a large amount of child pornography saved on an account on their servers. The account was linked to Papão and it needed to be investigated. They made contact with him while smoking a cigarette on a porch and was recognized by his unique neck tattoos. He didn’t deny the accusations against him, telling the officers that he has a problem. The courts sentence him to 60 months in prison for the possession of child pornography.

 

He served 4 years before being released to live with his mother, Wendy Go. Ringmaster was notified that he had been released and made posts on social media to warn the public of the danger he poses. His sister, Hegység, did not like that her family’s business was being put out for the world to see and thought it was wise to send Ringmaster a message telling them that if they didn’t remove the posts then she would tell the town about their family’s secrets. Ringmaster told them they wouldn’t back down, and that it wasn’t wise to message their brother’s victim trying to blackmail them into being quiet.  It was a month later that Papão found himself signing back up for social media accounts, a few of which popped up on Ringmaster’s radar and they were able to get them taken off the internet. They could only do so much though.

 

Ringmaster lost track of what had happened to him for quite some time before finding a news article in April 2024 that was dated from December 2023 that stated Papão had been sentenced to a mandatory 10 years in federal prison for the possession, production, and distribution of child pornography. The indictment was chilling to read, and gave them nightmares and flashbacks. He sent nude photos of a child under the age of 12 that he referred to as a cousin to an undercover detective in England. He told that detective that he had a preference for them being under 10 years old. He said that he has an addiction to methamphetamine and that he only does this stuff when he’s high on meth. That is an excuse. Drugs don’t make you diddle kids! Ringmaster feels so much anger and rage towards the family for enabling Papão to continue to harm children for over 25 years now. They were heartbroken that there is another child out there who had their innocence stolen by him that was likely being told it was all their fault by their family. Ringmaster hopes that prison justice is swift, and that Papão wont live through this prison term and be given an opportunity to keep hurting kids.

 

The only way to rehabilitate a child predator is with a bullet. Period.

 

 

https://www.justice.gov/usao-wdwa/pr/yelm-washington-man-sentenced-ten-years-prison-possession-images-child-sexual-abuse